An Introduction

Preface

"Hello.  My name is Forrest Gump.  You want a chocolate?"

                                - Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks) in Forrest Gump (1994)

My name is not Forrest.  I cannot offer you chocolates.  

            My name is Patrick and I can only offer you this.

            I write stuff. Sometimes. There are periods where I write a lot.  There are periods where I feel that I have nothing to say and I write nothing and I despair.

Section 1

“What came first, the music or the misery?"

                         - Rob Gordon (John Cusack) in High Fidelity (2000)

            The despair primarily comes from the fact that when I am the most creative is also when I am going through a manic episode—wait, I missed something.  I need to tell you that I have Bipolar Depression.

…I have Bipolar Depression.  There. I told you.  Great. You’re caught up.

One thing that is trade mark of my BD manic episodes is that I start a thousand creative projects and before I can finish any of them, my mania crashes and I am stuck with a depression and the feeling like a failure.  It’s great.  You should totally try it!  On second thought, it might be a better idea to stick bamboo under your finger nails or have a friend help you reenact that scene in Casino Royale (2014) where James Bond gets his balls smashed to hell.  It’s probably more fun than that feeling.

            I say all of this because I am terrified that I only can be creative or writer-y when I am manic.

 

Section 2

“That was refreshing. I'm refreshed. I'm refreshing."

                         - Dave Spritz (Nicolas Cage) in The Weather Man (2005)

            So this little blog is not something that will have a set schedule like my friends blogs.  It is a place where I will post, but what is nice about not doing these creative things while I am manic is that I am free to say, “Fuck it,” and not feel like a failure.  No pressure.  No failure.  I do not make any promises and I hold myself to no standards.

Why do I call this project “Stuff That Falls Out?” Because since I am trying to be creative while not manically trying to become the next great thing the world has ever seen, I will post the creative things that fall out of my brain.  If I write it, draw it, build it, I will post it here.

Section 3

“People trust me with their secrets. But who do I trust with mine? You, only you."

                         - Barbara Covett (Judi Dench) in Notes on a Scandal (2006)

-OR-

“And it's a story that might bore you, but you don't have to listen, because I always knew it was going to be like that."

                         - Lauren (Shannyn Sossoman) in Rules of Attraction (2002)

I expect no one to read this.  I really don’t.  If you do and you like it, that’s great.  If you do and you don’t like it, that’s great, too, just don’t tell me. And If you don’t see it…well, I guess you won’t tell me that either.

But since you’re here (are you here?), I trust you with this.  I mean, no one is cruel just to be cruel on the internet, right?  I hope this project lasts.  If it does, maybe I’ll set some sort of schedule.  If it fails, and let’s face it, I am probably entering a manic episode and don’t even realize it yet, so of course it will fail, I’ll just let this blog die among the countless others that hoped to be the next Julie & Julia. Well, maybe I’ll be like that guy that wrote a blog about how he watched Julie & Julia 365 days in a row.

“How far it will go, no one can say.” (Julie & Julia, 2009)